Who you calling fat?

Now I like fatty foods. Pretty much all of them. A great, big, chunky fat rind on a pork chop is downright heavenly to me. Now I know that it’s not good for me, so I don’t eat stuff like that all the time. Although if I could I probably would.
I am quite fortunate that my metabolism allows me to get away with a fair amount of unhealthy junk. That and a regular trip or 2 to the gym. Well kinda regular. Sometimes.

Either way, I’m gonna write something about fatty food. Yeah.

I’m a man who likes food and that can’t be denied,
Whether roasted or boiled, grilled, baked or fried.
Whether it’s a burger in a bun,
Or Jaffa Cakes by the ton,
I’m quite adept at getting all foods to my inside.

Yum.

Of course there are those who aren’t as fortunate as me and have to work hard to maintain a healthy figure. To them I say well done. I’m fairly certain that were it not for my bodies natural ability to burn off all the food I eat I’d be easily twice the size I am.

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End of the line

Retirement. Something enjoyed by many of the older generation who had the good sense and fortune to save for their old age. Nowadays, with retirement age heading steadily upwards (and considering our longer life that isn’t really unjustified) I doubt I’ll be out of work before I’m 70. But then again I enjoy my job, so there’s that.

In light of this, here’s something about old folk.

For years we must work to support others in old age,
We’re told that their advice is worth listening to and sage,
But both here and abroad,
I find this in discord,
For their voting habits often fill others with rage.

I wonder sometimes if folk should be banned from voting if they’re unlikely to see the outcome of their choices. Controversial? Probably. But possibly practical.

To eat or not to eat?

Welcome, tonight I have many limericks for your enjoyment. This first one is inspired by a work colleague and an exchange they had with another regarding the merits of the vegan lifestyle.
Fair play to you if you enjoy it and find it healthy and fulfilling. Me, I run on junk food, Huel, and meat. Not always in that order.

The way of the vegans is a mystery to me,
They forgo all the meats and savour foods from the tree,
Now fruit is quite fine,
And grapes turn to wine,
But to live without steak is no life for me!

Next one!

Irradiated

Today’s limerick is in response to the Daily Prompt post. Radiate is the theme.

Let’s have at it shall we?

The beauty of ladies can radiate most sweetly,
And in many cases it is done most discretely,
But what I love best,
Is a full bouncing breast,
That’s been accentuated by clothing most neatly!

He-he. Breasts!

via Daily Prompt: Radiate

Late night/Early morning

I’m known to be one of those odd people that can get by on around 6 hours sleep rather than the 8 others need. I’m kinda proud of that but I also would like to enjoy being able to sleep longer. If I go over 7 hours it’s a total waste. I feel even more tired than when I went to bed. Early nights to bed don’t particularly suit me.

With this in mind I thought I’d write something about it.

One late night I found myself pondering life’s meaning,
If the end is truly assured, then why bother cleaning?
Just embrace all the dust,
Bring forth the rust,
And you can forget about all that personal preening!

Hmm. Could do better.

It started early one day when the world came a calling,
I was just having a dream in which I was falling,
I awoke with a start,
And let off a loud fart,
Which all the folk on the tube found quite appalling!

Better I think. Thoughts anyone? Subject requests?

Golf – Would it work as a watersport?

Golf, climate change, and an orange. All of which appear in the following limerick. Sorta.

While Trump was out playing some golf with his daughter,
A climate change activist came and told him that he oughta,
Take heed of the world,
Or once events have unfurled,
Or he’ll soon be driving off the first tee underwater!

Famous climate change denier, and all round numpty, Donald Trump, still fails to take notice of the mountains of evidence piling up. Even when his own properties are threatened! The world’s leaders still unable to convince him of the need for action.

F*ck.

Ode to internet

Ah at last. After so long (a week) I once again have a speedy connection to the great wide internet world. It’s crazy how you miss it.
As such I have written this limerick to celebrate.

A home that has got no broadband to use,
Is one that’s destined to surely lose,
Out on online gaming,
And YouTube lion taming,
And nearly all of the most important news.